Friday 2 August 2013

When I die...


When I die, I want to die knowing that I have lived a life of few regrets. I want to know that those few regrets I have are for things I have done in my life rather than for things I have not done. And for those things I have done in my life that I regret, I want to know that they are not for the lack of trying but for the lack of opportunity. So, when I die, I want to die knowing that I have tried my best and doing my best is what defines my life when I die.

When I die, I want to die knowing that I have loved more than I have not. I want to know that my love is more unconditional than they are conditional. And for those times when I have loved unconditionally, I want to know that I have made a difference in the life of others. I want to know that this difference is enduring rather than shortlived. So, when I die, I want to die knowing that I have loved unconditionally and to love unconditionally is what defines my life when I die.

When I die, I want to die knowing that I have given more than I have taken. I want to know that the times I have given is to bring joy to others rather than to bring attention to myself. And for those times when I bring joy to others, I want to know that my motivation is to uplift a soul in need and not my own interest that I seek. So when I die, I want to die knowing that I have given all that I could give and to give all that I could give is what defines my life when I die.

When I die, I want to die knowing that I have put relationship before everything else. I want to know that the bond between loved ones is stronger than the hold that money, status and power has on me. And for those times when I enjoy my relationships, I want to know that I find contentment with the things in my possession rather than the things that are not. So, when I die, I want to die knowing that nothing brings more satisfaction than the joy of relationships and such satisfaction is what defines my life when I die.

When I die, I want to die knowing that I have lived a life that my children can be proud of. I want to know that my children can always look up to me for standing up to what is right rather than to hide in the shadow of duplicity. And for those times when I do my children proud, I want to be able to look into their eyes and tell them that my life is their legacy to follow and not the disgrace of a life too shallow. So when I die, I want to die knowing that I have set a good example for my children and this living testimony is what defines my life when I die.

When I die, I want to die knowing that I am not perfect. I want to know that my imperfection however does not stop me from seeking after the perfect. And for those times when I follow in the footsteps of the perfect, I want to know that his presence is never too far when I cry out to him. So when I die, I want to die knowing that my imperfection is made complete in his love and to be privy to that knowledge is what defines my life when I die.

When I die, I want to die knowing that my life counts for something. I want to know that it counts for something that is eternal rather than material. And for those times when I long for life eternal, I want to know that it is in the trust of the lover of my soul that my hope is placed and not in the things of this world that my trust is misplaced. So when I die, I want to die knowing that there is purpose beyond this life and this purpose is what defines my life when I die.

So, I know I will die one day. Who can cheat death? But I guess there is a fate worse than cheating death in this life. It is one where I cheat myself out of living. And I do so when I :-

1) regret the lost opportunities in my life for the lack of trying;

2)  fail to make any difference in the lives of others because my love was always conditional;

3) take more than I give because I was looking for ways to enrich myself;

4)  am always dissatisfied because I have placed worldly pursuits above meaningful   relationships;

5) live a life that my children turn away in confusion and shame,

6) pretend that my life is beyond reproach and find no need for personal reflection or examination; and

7) lead a life seeking for immediate gratification of the things of this world and not for the purpose beyond them.

So, let me end with these enlightening words, “If you can begin to see death as an invisible, but friendly, companion on your life’s journey – gently reminding you not to wait til tomorrow to do what you mean to do – then you can learn to live your life rather than simply passing through it.” (Taken from the Foreword of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ book “Death: The Final Stage of Growth”). Cheerz.


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